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Fire

Post #1041 • August 28, 2007, 7:24 AM • 13 Comments

New at The Moon Fell On Me.

Comment

1.

opie

August 28, 2007, 8:26 AM

You are certainly extending the idea of the comic strip into new territory.

Would it be better without the "probably"? It would seem more declarative and direct that way.

2.

Marc Country

August 28, 2007, 8:40 AM

... to follow Opie's thinking, you could maybe change it to 'always'...

3.

Franklin

August 28, 2007, 8:57 AM

Didn't Strunk & White call adverbs "the bloodsucking leeches of prose"? But no, it has to be "probably" to convey the doubt and to ruin the high tone of "peace rules the earth".

4.

Franklin

August 28, 2007, 8:58 AM

You are certainly extending the idea of the comic strip into new territory.

Made my day.

5.

Marc Country

August 28, 2007, 9:29 AM

Is the 'strip' format integral, in your eyes, Franklin, or have you considered a frame-by-frame 'slideshow' format, so you just see the panels one at a time?

6.

hey

August 28, 2007, 9:39 AM

how about handwriting the text or giving it a more complementary font. otherwise very elegant and insightful

7.

Franklin

August 28, 2007, 10:32 AM

Marc, strictly speaking, it's not comics if you don't juxtapose the images. That doesn't mean there aren't a lot of interesting possibilities regarding juxtaposition...

8.

opie

August 28, 2007, 10:53 AM

I think the definiteness of eliminating "probably" or using Marc's "always" contradicts the tone of "peace on earth" much more directly, and has an overtone of exhaustion and frustration to it which strengthens the point.

But, what the hey, it's your strip.

9.

Marc Country

August 28, 2007, 2:51 PM

Probably, we're just more pessimistic than Franklin is, opie.

10.

alesh

August 28, 2007, 8:16 PM

Very beautiful. I like the computer font better then the handwritten text.

Just wondering how large the original watercolor art is compared to the way it shows up on a monitor -- looks like it's slightly magnified? FWIW, I think your skill with digital image capture has a lot to do with the impact of the final product.

11.

hovig

August 29, 2007, 10:21 AM

This is a real winner. The watercolors soften what would have been too harsh in black ink. And I like the word "probably." In my mind it maintains the tone set by the the phrase "when peace rules the world." This phrase shows a little bit of dreaminess as it begs the question, "don't you mean 'if'?" The "when, not if" phrase plays with the "probably" phrase, and both play with the "dreaminess" of the watercolor execution. Ship it!

12.

Franklin

August 29, 2007, 3:31 PM

Alesh, the scanner picks up a lot of texture in the paper that doesn't appear to the eye, or not in that grainy way. Of course it's scanned at pretty high rez and reduced, and tweaked a bit in GIMP. Some of the neutral purples are actually shadows on the paper, which is warped from the water, and doesn't lie flat on the glass. The originals are pretty disappointing, but they're not the end product, so it's okay.

Thanks Hovig, and thanks all.

13.

1

August 30, 2007, 6:38 AM

the less is more approach.

only quibble is with the color of wording and possibly font.

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